Power of Attorney for Aging Parents: A Guide for Families

Does Every Elderly Person Need to Assign a Power of Attorney?

Nobody likes thinking about their parents getting old, but there is no escaping the fact of aging. Everyone gets older eventually, and some start showing signs of mental decline sooner than others. Eventually, every adult child will have to oversee his or her parent's financial and medical decisions; it's just a matter of when that transition will need to occur.

Do not take our word for it, we are not attorneys. Instead, take a look at what our Golden Placement Services specialists have experienced as we have helped many people in the Oregon area with this step. Also check out what our friends at the Oregon State Bar have to say about the process.

What a Power of Attorney Does

It is important for an adult child to be granted Power of Attorney (POA) by their elderly parent(s). A POA is best done before a parent is no longer able to manage their finances or to make reasonable decisions for others or themselves.

The person (friend or family) being granted Power of Attorney becomes the adult responsible for making the medical and financial decisions for their parent(s). POA decisions range from which medical treatments are administered, to signing tax returns, to paying bills and managing the parent's mutual fund accounts.

4 Common Scenarios Where a Power of Attorney Is Beneficial

Not sure if you need a POA? Here are four of the most common scenarios in which being granted a Power of Attorney can be beneficial:

• Your elderly parent is single or has a spouse who is not mentally capable of making decisions
• Your parent is currently mentally competent but wants help managing his or her finances
• Your parent(s) need assistance during a temporary time frame (i.e., they're traveling abroad, temporarily incapacitated, etc.)
• One of your parents does not want to take on the financial responsibilities should the other parent lose their mental faculties

Of course, a Power of Attorney can also prove useful when both of your parents are still of sound mind and body. By being granted back-up Power of Attorney privileges, you will already have everything in place should both of your parents become incapacitated.

How to Become a Power of Attorney for Your Parents

In order to become a Power of Attorney for your parents, you need to obtain a standard Power of Attorney application form from your lawyer, or you can download one from a legal website like LegalZoom or Rocket Lawyer. In most cases, a standard form is fine, but if you will be performing any real estate transactions on behalf of your parents, then you will need to obtain a state-specific Power of Attorney application.

The application form will note which powers are being granted, as well as any specific limitations. The time frame for which your power will extend is also required.

More than one person can be granted Power of Attorney status by your parents, and this situation can be good. If more than one person is named, the form will need to specify whether those people are able to act independently of the other(s) or are required to act jointly.

The completed form needs to be notarized, with copies delivered to your parents' financial adviser and/or attorney. Each person being granted Power of Attorney is also to be provided with copies of the form. Please check with your elder law attorney about your family's situation.

Common Challenges of Obtaining Power of Attorney

It is important to note that not all parents are willing to grant their adult children Power of Attorney. For many, it is an undeniable sign that their mental health might be fading, so they refuse more out of fear and denial than for any other reason. Some will even refuse to discuss the issue.

Simple steps to convince a stubborn parent to grant Power of Attorney? Just kidding. There is no simple way. But there are a few different ways you can make the idea of Power of Attorney more palatable for your aging parent(s). Ultimately, this is an area where an outside coach may be of help. A quick call to the Golden Girls may also help: we have needed to deal with many scenarios over the years and can offer you guidance and support. Here are just a few thought-provoking ideas which may help you.

Ways to Approach the Power of Attorney Conversation

• Voice Your Concerns: Tell your parent that you want to name them your POA, just in case anything should ever happen to you. Explain what peace of mind it is knowing that your needs will be met should you lose the ability to make important decisions for yourself. Then, while you are together filling out your paperwork, casually say, "Hey, why don't we do one for you too while we're at it?"
• Hold a Family Meeting: A parent who isn't willing to listen to reason may benefit from getting more family voices involved. If you have brothers and/or sisters, plan a family meeting and discuss your thoughts with them and your parents.
• Ask Who They Revere: Parents usually regard one of their children as the most reliable. Have that person bring up the POA discussion, or have them be the POA. The decision is really up to the parent; however, if the whole family knows what's happening and you all agree on who the POA should be, the entire process will go much smoother and easier for everyone, especially your parents.
• Find Outside Help: Involving family is the best way to help your folks come around. However, should your parent continue to object to the idea, you might find help outside your family. Turn to those whom your parent trusts most, be it a preacher, an attorney, a doctor, or a best friend. Or better yet, someone neutral and unbiased: at Golden Placements we can help you get what you need.

Getting support from such valued people in your parent's life can be a huge asset in your journey to ensuring that your parent's wishes and needs are managed when they are no longer able to do it on their own. Golden Placement Services is here to help ensure your parent's wishes and needs are managed. Don't wait until your family member is no longer able.

Resources to Help Mom and Dad

Golden Placements helps you manage resources and takes care of the leg work for finding your best living situation so you can enjoy your best Golden Years. Community living and finding the right living choice for you or your loved one is important. We help you navigate the details. Here are more resources to help you learn more:

• Read more about Long Term Care Planning with our friends at ACL
• Oregon defines and describes ADLs legally here: Long Term Care
• Golden Placements resources to find care services
• Senior Living Near Me: Adult Home Placement
• Explore Residential Care Homes for Elderly "near me"
• Ultimate Senior Living Resource Guide

Our Golden Girls specialists help families relieve stress and make good decisions in uncertain times, and our help is at no cost to you. Contact Golden Placement Services or call 503-723-7145 for guidance and support.