estate planning tips

How to Avoid Family Squabbles Over Your Estate

ldollard Estate Planning 6 Comments

Steps to Help Assets Transfer Without a Fight

Should you rely on “will power” to bequeath assets? The more complex your estate, the more ill-advised that choice becomes. Having only a will in place when you die may not be enough. As MarketWatch noted recently, research from the Williams Group (a major estate planning firm) indicates that estate fights reduce inherited wealth for as many of 70% of families.1

Inheritance is no simple matter. In a simpler world, an individual with a $3 million estate could pass away and simply leave $1 million each to his or her children – enough said, over and done. But life isn’t so simple: one heir may deserve more money as a result of a disability or fate dealing out hardships, while another may truthfully deserve less due to his or her behavior, or his or her financial success.

If you feel one heir should receive more of your estate than another, that wish needs to be articulated in your estate planning. Stating these wishes before you pass away (the why, the how, the how much) and letting your heirs know how you feel isn’t cruel – candor now is preferable to confusion and in-fighting later.

Beyond money, what about possessions & real property? Homes, businesses, raw land, antiques, artwork, collectibles, heirlooms, and pets: your children and grandchildren may have different perceptions of their future value, and disagree on their destiny. Being clear about who is going to get what today (and why specific decisions are being made) may help defray potential legal challenges tomorrow.

Consider leaving some things up to the kids. You could call in appraisers to set values for your real and personal property, make a list of those assets and their values, and subsequently allow your heirs to take turns choosing the possessions or properties they want to inherit. If a squabble breaks out between heirs over this or that item, you can settle it with a family auction – that item goes to the highest bidder when you pass away.

Also, consider a revocable trust. More people should, as wills have basic shortcomings. If they have any imprecise language or lack in terrorem clauses (which threaten heirs that challenge them with disinheritance), they can invite lawsuits and other battles. If the author of a will is elderly, a spouse, ex-spouse or children could try to assert that the author had insufficient mental capacity at the time of authorship or wrote the will under undue influence.2

Wills are made public; they are probated. While there are many non-probate assets that pass directly to a designated beneficiary or a joint tenant (jointly held bank accounts with right of survivorship, jointly titled real property, POD accounts, most types of IRAs and workplace retirement accounts), other assets do not. The length of the probate process varies by state. It takes weeks in some states, months in others.3,4

Probate requires money as well as time: even if you have named the most capable executor around, the court costs and lawyer and appraiser fees involved may still eat up as much as 5% of your estate (if you’re a millionaire, that’s $50,000). Mostly, those fees go for basic clerical work.3,4

Assets within a revocable trust can avoid probate (assuming they have been properly transferred into the trust, of course). Upon the death of the grantor who established the trust, the grantor’s appointed trustee distributes the assets within the trust per the grantor’s wishes, no probate involved. The chance of a family fight over inherited assets lessens.5

Living wills? Those can prove quite valuable. You may not die suddenly, and you could be incapacitated for a period just prior to your death. Should that be the case, a living will (also called an advance directive) can articulate how you want to be treated. Additionally, a health care proxy document can appoint someone (known legally as a health care agent) to authorize doctors and nurses to carry out those directions. A health care proxy is also crucial in instances when a younger individual becomes severely disabled.5

Opt for more control. When you pass away, your money will have only three possible destinations. Percentages of it will go either to your heirs, to charity, or to the government. If your estate planning goes no further than a will, you could be inviting a dispute and things may not turn out quite the way you want. While creating a revocable trust can cost ten times as much as creating a simple will, it may be worth every penny in the end.6

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Author Diana Platika may be reached at 503-682-8401 or This material was prepared by MarketingPro, Inc., and does not necessarily represent the views of the presenting party, nor their affiliates. This information has been derived from sources believed to be accurate. Please note – investing involves risk, and past performance is no guarantee of future results. The publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting or other professional services. If assistance is needed, the reader is advised to engage the services of a competent professional. This information should not be construed as investment, tax or legal advice and may not be relied on for the purpose of avoiding any Federal tax penalty. This is neither a solicitation nor recommendation to purchase or sell any investment or insurance product or service, and should not be relied upon as such. All indices are unmanaged and are not illustrative of any particular investment.

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Comments 6

  1. Thanks for this information.I didn’t know there was such thing as a living will, but it makes sense. I also like the idea of leaving the division of property up to the heirs, and using an auction to deal with any squabbles. Thanks again!

  2. This is some really good information about wills and estates. I like that you pointed out that if you want someone to inherit more than others you need to have it clearly laid out in the estate plan. That way, you know that will happen after you have passed.

  3. I would have never considered holding a family auction. If the heirs have a difficult time deciding who the item goes to, it makes sense to have them bid so the decision is fair. It may also help to create a priority list of children who by default would get to choose first.

  4. Thank you for the help. My father passed away recently and I am afraid the will may be disputed. I do not think he was really specific on his will with his possessions, as you discussed. How would you recommend that we proceed with this process?

  5. When estate planning, putting down why everyone gets what they do is a good idea. It can help prevent arguments between your family members. Indeed, you shouldn’t worry to much about hurting anyone’s feelings and be more truthful.

  6. My friend was in a car accident and is in a nonresponsive state. You mentioned that you may not die suddenly, and you could be incapacitated for a period just prior to your dead and a living will could articulate how you want to be treated. It seems that having a living will could be very beneficial later on. Do all attorneys offer assistance with this sort of thing?

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