When Is It OK To Back Away?
by LaVona Tomberlin of Golden Placements
“Sometimes the best move forward is stepping back.”
Do you need to Back Away?
From the time that we are small children we are taught that thinking of ourselves first is selfish. We are always supposed to think of others first or do we need to back away. We are always supposed to make others happy and safe and well. If all that is true, we should be happy.
Give Until It Hurts
As a small child if another child wanted our toy, we were told to give it to them without complaint. I know that as I grew, I learned not to be competitive; even to the point that if I was dating a boy and one of my friends liked him, I walked away. Sometimes that was painful but I felt that I was doing the right thing. It was my job to make others happy and that should make me happy and satisfied.
Caretaker
As an adult I have taken care of my mother for 7 years after the death of my father when she was ill and sad. During that time I lost my best friend and my father but it was my job to take care of my mother because she needed me. I did that until I became ill and someone said to me, actually it was my doctor, that if I did not take care of myself, I would be of no use to anyone. I took that advice and moved away to take care of me.
Changing The Scene
When I moved, I thrived. I found out what it felt like to be truly happy. Wouldn’t you know it, I found that I truly enjoyed helping people and did that when I wanted to but while I was doing what I loved to do. After moving I discovered that when I helped people, and did it with an open heart, I felt truly blessed.
Take Care of Yourself
Taking care of ourselves is not selfish. It is preparing us to be the best we can be so that we can offer our best selves to the people that we love and want to help. Sometimes that means actually doing the work. Sometimes that means stepping back and finding the right person to do the work who can do it best. This is not abandoning the person but protecting them. Sometimes backing away is simply allowing us to be what we are to them; their friend, their spouse, their child and allowing a professional to do the hard work of caring for them. They are trained to do this job. We are there to love them.
Here are 8 ways to gain perspective
- Reflection: Helps you understand yourself and make informed decisions about difficult situations by examining your experiences and reflecting on what you’ve learned.
- Gratitude: Can help you shift your perspective by keeping a gratitude journal or finding a gratitude partner.
- Empathy: Understand the thoughts, emotions, and circumstances of others.
- Change Your Space: Can inspire a new perspective on life and expose you to new opportunities.
- Welcome Change: Helps you gain perspective and become more compassionate and supportive of others going through change.
- Think Differently: Helps you get into a creative mindset by looking at things from different angles and exploring new ways of thinking.
- Get a Different or Positive Perspective: Helps you improve your confidence and self-belief, and can lead to a more fulfilling life.
- Follow your Heart: Gain perspective by reimagining your role in the world and adding to your sense of wonder.
Honor Our Older Loved Ones Where they Live; Specialists at Golden Placements can help:
Obviously, these tools to better communication can help you help our Older Loved Ones. Firstly, Golden Placements helps you manage resources and takes care of the leg work for finding the best living situation for your Golden Year parent, sibling, loved one. Second, GPS has ideas gathered over years of experience by being Senior Life Specialists. Next, Portland Senior Living and their various options from our Golden Girls specialists are IS NO COST. Community living and finding the right living choice for you or your loved one is important. We help you navigate the details. Finally, we give you even more resources to help you learn more about our services:
- You can call us today or continue to read more about Long Term Care Planning with our friends at ACL
- Oregon Defines and Describes ADLs for us legally here: Long Term Care
- Golden Placements RESOURCES to find CARE Services
- Quality locations for you Senior Loved One with the Golden Girls
- Senior Living Near Me – Adult Home Placement
- Explore Residential Care Homes for Older Loved Ones “near me”
More Articles: Retirement gifts, new grandparent gifts, retirement benefits, and assisted living
Diane Delaney, Placement Specialist Extraordinaire
Delaney is the founder of Golden Placement Services. She began this business with a healthy dose of compassion for helping families make educated decisions regarding senior placement. Focused to relieve stress in uncertain senior housing crucial moments. Diane brings about loving change of lifestyle with grace. Additionally, Diane is an accomplished executive manager, Director of Operations in senior housing. Emphatically, she enjoys sharing her full spectrum experience of transition process for older family members. Read more from Senior Placement Specialist Diane: Ultimate Senior Living Resource Guide >>
LaVona Tomberlin, Senior Placement Specialist
Tomberlin brings a high level of education and experience to you as your Senior Placement Specialist at GPS. She loves writing about improving the lives of Aging Adults working in private care and in-home care for over 36 years. Geriatrics, Memory Care. Plus, she holds Master of Psychology Behavioral Health with the goal of advocating for those who needed a voice. Basically, LaVona believes helping families make good decisions relieves stress in uncertain times makes life worthwhile! Ready to Learn More, Read articles from Placement Specialist LaVona: End of Life Transition a heart felt Guide >>
