Death – End of Life Preparation: What You Need to Know

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Providing Care and Comfort at the End of Life

Be Aware

Death. Experiencing the loss and the love at the same time. Acute awareness that a loved one has been lost. Longing. Orphaned. Essentially, this awareness, at it’s core is the worm in which all things come to an end. When loved ones are lost, the thing we are longing for is deeper than the basics of their existence.

Be Pondering

Death is a very important topic for anyone to discuss, even think about. Pondering loss of a loved one can heal and you can tap into a bigger love. Death is to be prepared for. After all, death takes us all, especially when there are senior loved ones involved. The real loss is when you forget. Embrace that longing for what you lack is the cure. It is the good stuff. Deep dedication. Being thirsty for that connected love, is the good stuff.

Unity

When we most intensely appreciate what you had that feeling the moment you feel the absence of love is when you deeply appreciate what someone meant to us. We are all in that experience of loss together. An awakening. The unity between us is not part of our culture, that is sad. Unity at a funeral is elevating, it is deep and the most obvious kind of love. Be sad, is to be connected to the sublime. Stigma surrounding death is odd. Death is a pull and take, and death, is taboo. So we spoke to someone who is in the industry, Scotti.

Interview

Scotti is our guest for this interview. A funeral director for years, Scotti has taken the time to sit down with us, at Golden Placements, to answer some of our questions.

Golden Placements: First off, can you define what a funeral director does exactly?

Scotti: A funeral director meets with the family when a loved one has passed. Their goal is to make arrangements for services that are needed. This can include picking the body up and having it cremated with no services, to being embalmed and having a mausoleum entombment. The director is involved with all of these processes.

GP: Is there a more reputable or less reputable funeral home? How do you know which facility to pick?

Scotti: It varies from state to state, but there is generally an organization like the Oregon Cemetery and Mortuary Board that you can go to. It’s kind of like a contractor’s board, where the director is licensed, like a Better Business Bureau organization. You can look up the individual licensee, the funeral home, or the cemetery. Personally, I’m a card-carrying embalmer.

GP: What are the most commonly asked questions you get from families?

Scotti: What happens with the body? Do you only have a limited amount of time before the body must be buried? What is a death certificate?

Indeed, people are of course concerned about the body and they want to know how their loved one who has passed will be cared for. Most people feel a big pressure to bury the body right away, but you can really wait as long as you need to. If you can’t get into town or you can’t find the next of kin to sign for the body, it can be stored by the funeral home for a few months. Eventually, the death certificate question comes up right away. People know they need one but aren’t sure why or for what.

A death certificate isn’t the same as a will. It is written by the funeral director and the doctor or person who pronounced the death. Essentially, it lists a cause of death, time of death, and it has the signatures. Certified copies need to be made, and the family will need this for everything. You will need a death certificate to access bank accounts, insurance policies, closing a leasee, everything. That’s the biggest thing to know ahead of time: how to get your family access to all your accounts after you pass.

GP: What is some advice you wish people knew before they came to you?

Scotti: Well, as far as advice for people generally… just to take care of your affairs. I know it sounds cliche, but if you have a 401k or a life insurance policy, be sure your beneficiaries are up to date. It can be really hard for the remaining family to access the money if those documents are not up to date. The family will have to prove they’re next of kin, and it’s a whole ordeal. Does your loved one who has passed have an insurance policy? Not all funeral homes accept insurance. Many funeral homes take payment up front. The family may be left responsible to seek reimbursement by the insurance company. Check with the funeral home. Be sure they will accept insurance, which insurance and read the limitations of the policy. Acceptance is not automatic.

GP: What does an average funeral cost?

Scotti: It’s hard to come up with an average. The services can range from a simple cremation at $500 – to a funeral with everything and grave for closer to $35,000. To pick an average, most people probably spend around $18,000. But a cremation with a memorial is closer to the $5,000 – $7,000 range.

All things considered, average cost of a funeral in the United States is between $6,280 and $8,300, according to the National Funeral Directors Association. The cost of a funeral with cremation is slightly lower, at around $6,971.

GP: Do you have any resources that you would direct people to before the funeral?

Scotti: The Mortuary and Cemetery Board have a lot of brochures and information. You can learn what it means to pre-plan. Some people sell insurance policies that do pre-planning, too. But really, the best way to pre-plan is talk to somebody who knows something about it. I would want to have someone come in and lead talks that could help prepare people. I used to volunteer to just come in and sit down in an office over lunch and talk to people about how to prepare. It’s something you don’t want to necessarily think about on a Tuesday afternoon, but it’s really the last gift you’re leaving to your family.

GP: On a personal note, how did you deal with what most people consider to be a morbid career?

Scotti: You’re with the family from the beginning to the end. And every time, you go through the process with the family from the moment of complete despair to when it is all finally over and done with. In essence, you see their hope grow back bit by bit.

Resources for Aging Mom or Dad with GPS is easy:

Essentially, Golden Placements(GPS) helps you manage resources and takes care of the leg work for finding your best living situation so you can enjoy your best Golden Years. In addition, GPS has ideas gathered over years of experience by being Senior Life Specialists. Next, Portland Senior Living and their various options from our Golden Girls specialists are IS NO COST. Another key point, community living and finding the right living choice for you or your loved one is important. Chiefly, we help you navigate the details. To conclude, here are more resources to help you learn more about our services: Click the links below to learn more about death-related mindful practices and wellness:

Diane Delaney, Placement Specialist Extraordinaire

Diane Delaney, Golden Placement Services — Diane Delaney

Delaney is the founder of Golden Placement Services. Firstly, she began this business with a healthy dose of compassion for helping families make educated decisions regarding senior placement. Focused to relieve stress in uncertain senior housing crucial moments. Diane brings about loving change of lifestyle with grace. Additionally, Diane is an accomplished executive manager, Director of Operations in senior housing. Emphatically, she enjoys sharing her experience. Basically, Diane enjoys writing about the full spectrum of the transition process for seniors and family members. Finally, read more from Senior Placement Specialist Diane: Ultimate Senior Living Resource Guide >>

LaVona Tomberlin, Senior Placement Specialist

Tomberlin brings a high level of education and experience to you as your Senior Placement Specialist at GPS. Further, she loves writing about improving the lives of Elderly working in private care and in-home care for over 36 years. Geriatrics, Memory Care. In addition, she holds Master of Psychology Behavioral Health with the goal of advocating for those who needed a voice. Basically, LaVona believes helping the families make good decisions. Above all, she can help relieve stress in uncertain times making life worthwhile! Learn More: Read articles from Placement Specialist LaVona: End of Life Transition a heart felt Guide >>